Talk:Negging

This is nonsense. Nobody "invented" negging that we can identify. Maybe somebody coined the term more recently, but this sort of thing has been around forever. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 2601:2C4:C580:6DB:810A:F0D4:63AD:7C90 (talk) 09:51, 13 February 2019 (UTC)

Changes

This article read somewhat strangely - there's a broad consensus that negging is a coercive and manipulative behaviour (obviously, that's the intent) so I added a couple of sources making that point. I also removed some text that was sourced to "Negging Women - 10 Awesome Negs That Work", for reasons that are, I think, obvious, and I changed [[Seduction community|pickup artist community]] to [[pickup artist]]s because seduction community is a redirect to pickup artist. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 82.1.159.160 (talk) 07:38, 22 July 2019 (UTC)

Negs as insults

This article keeps getting edited to state that negs are insults or otherwise offensive statements. While there are certainly good reasons to question the ethics of negging specifically and the PUA community generally, this is one specific misconception that should stop being perpetuated. All PUA sources that originally popularised negging (Strauss, Von Markovik) as well as later PUAs that adopted the technique (Michal Pospieszalski, Richard La Ruina) are all very explicit that *negs are not insults* and should not be confused with insults; they say so not in public statements or "defences" of PUA, but specifically in their how-to manuals for other PUAs. By all means add links that show how negging is manipulative and unethical, but unless you can find a source to validate your claims, please stop trying to portray negging as something it is not. 2.207.17.174 (talk) 04:55, 7 October 2019 (UTC) avptallarita

The Image Seems Wrong to Me

We can all debate what "negging" is and how it got operationalized (by both the PUA community and researchers) but the examples in the image are not what "negging" is. Going back to the source material, Erik von Markovik (Mystery)'s actual "Book of Negs" gives the following examples:

You have big feet. I like stability.", "You're cute, in a dorky way.", "I like your look. Beauty is common, but you seem to have character.", "Those shoes look really comfortable.", "Nice nails, are they real?", and "Is that a wig? Oh... well, it looks nice anyway."

The examples given in the animation use: "You pull off that dress well for someone your size.", "You're smart for a blonde chick.", and "I normally think freckles are a turn off, but I could make an exception for you."

These are either more loaded by explicitly stating a personal aesthetic rejection tied directly to physical attractiveness/desirability (freckles as a turn-off), or just are straight insult, either by talking about a judgmental flaw (dress at a larger size) or a demeaning stereotype about a category (blondes are dumb).

As quoted in the Wikipedia page, these examples are exactly the "critical, judgmental" register Strauss says a neg should never be hit. Nothing in the original list zeroes in on a body-image insecurity, at least this precisely. The examples from the canonical sources are closer to more minor features (feet, nails, a wig) said more indirectly than to weight-shaming.

This gets me to something else, because I greatly care about accuracy. I agree something happened over the last 20 years or so at how people view "negging", but the differences make it so people are describing different things. So a study might show "Hey, negging doesn't work" when it is really about that back-handed insults as compliments don't work, which isn't quite the same thing. ~2026-40033-73 (talk) 05:54, 17 July 2026 (UTC)