Talk:Unbeatable/GA1
Add topicLatest comment: 4 months ago by PresN in topic GA review
GA review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: PresN (talk · contribs) 00:21, 31 May 2026 (UTC)
Reviewer: Snowmanonahoe (talk · contribs) 16:02, 31 May 2026 (UTC)
This is my first crack at an article review. I hope I did everything right.
Well-written
[edit]- Lead, para. 2, "The music for the game was...": "the game" is redundant and can be deleted.
- Done
- Plot, para. 1, "Clef and Treble, former pop stars and repeat music offenders, for the incident": There's too many commas in this sentence, replace these two with dashes.
- Done
- Plot, para. 4, "formed a miasma": unnecessarily obscure word. Also, the definition of it doesn't make it clear that people were trapped in there, which makes the next sentence a little confusing.
- Done
- Lead sentence: note b reads a tad clunky to me. Like, yes, the authors of a work have declared how the title should be stylized. Who else would? Replace it with the citation.
Verifiable
[edit]Spotchecked Special:Permalink/1357044095:
- [1] couldn't verify "select a song out of a list"
- Added in the Rock Paper Shotgun cite to that sentence, re: "the real meat of Unbeatable can be found in Arcade mode, which presents a huge list of songs, split into four categories"
- Plot, para. 2, "attendees frequently ignore or insult Beat": I've played the game myself and I'm not sure what you're talking about here.
- Dropped; in my playthrough after the first underground show of that chapter, the audience said Beat wasn't as good as the rest of the band, and then on the street later on I ran into a pedestrian who recognized her but repeatedly forgot her name, and another that told their friend that she was that girl in the band with Quaver. Maybe the first only happens if you fail that song? I don't recall if I messed up there. It's not a big note either way.
- Note a: [citation needed]
- Added
- [6] good
- [5] "The developers intended..." good
- [15] good
- [2][3] good
- [1][3] good
Illustrated
[edit]- Given the number of reviews that emphasize the clear delineation between arcade and story mode, I think a gameplay photo of story mode could maybe be justified. If you disagree that it meets NFCC 8 I won't fight you on it.
- No, I agree it can be justified in this case, added one
Outside GACR
[edit]- UNBEATABLE [white label], ALBUM, and unbeatable [ost] are all stylizations that should be converted to title case.
- Done, same for Demo tapes
- Note a: link Lena Raine
- Done
- Plot, para. 4, "Eve was murdered in the middle of a song": I think "by a Silence" is an important bit to put here.
- Not done- this isn't clear from the scene, especially with the imagery of someone raising a gun. You don't actually see a Silence, you see from Quaver's point of view a silhouette-with-x shape that is used in Beat's dreams to represent the memory of a person as Eve walks back from the edge of the stage, then you see someone making a finger-gun shape, then a hand holding a gun. It's possible that a Silence appeared and a security guard tried to shoot it (I've seen that theory), but given that Sforzando tells Beat that bullets hit Silence because people expect them to, and that Silence are a metaphor for grief/trauma, it doesn't make much sense (to me) that one would appear before Eve dies in front of the crowd or that the bullet would pass through a Silence and hit her. And in any case, we don't see a Silence attacking her.
- Huh. You're right, I totally misinterpreted what the black X people are. Snowmanonahoe (talk · contribs · typos) 13:44, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
- Not done- this isn't clear from the scene, especially with the imagery of someone raising a gun. You don't actually see a Silence, you see from Quaver's point of view a silhouette-with-x shape that is used in Beat's dreams to represent the memory of a person as Eve walks back from the edge of the stage, then you see someone making a finger-gun shape, then a hand holding a gun. It's possible that a Silence appeared and a security guard tried to shoot it (I've seen that theory), but given that Sforzando tells Beat that bullets hit Silence because people expect them to, and that Silence are a metaphor for grief/trauma, it doesn't make much sense (to me) that one would appear before Eve dies in front of the crowd or that the bullet would pass through a Silence and hit her. And in any case, we don't see a Silence attacking her.
Review unfinished. Snowmanonahoe (talk · contribs · typos) 16:02, 31 May 2026 (UTC)
- @Snowmanonahoe: All done for what you have so far, thanks for reviewing! --PresN 19:45, 31 May 2026 (UTC)
Review finished. No issues with stability, (image) copyright, or neutrality. Snowmanonahoe (talk · contribs · typos) 12:46, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
- @Snowmanonahoe: Done, replied inline to your last point. --PresN 13:24, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
- @PresN: I'm not going to revert the pass over this, but I just realized you missed a bullet I added in the well-written section: "Lead sentence: note b reads a tad clunky to me. Like, yes, the authors of a work have declared how the title should be stylized. Who else would? Replace it with the citation." Snowmanonahoe (talk · contribs · typos) 13:47, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
- @Snowmanonahoe: Whoops, done. --PresN 13:54, 1 June 2026 (UTC)