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Infatuation

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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

An illustrated depiction of Mahābhārata character Ulupi becoming infatuated with Arjuna

Infatuation refers to being "in love" or intensely love smitten, with possible connotations of youth, irrationality, foolishness, or capriciousness.[1][2][3][4] An individual may be considered infatuated with a person they do not know well yet,[1][3] or whom others view as unsuitable.[2][5] In the triangular theory of love, "infatuation" refers to romantic passion in the absence of intimacy or commitment, as in love at first sight and limerence.[6][7] Infatuation might also be compared to the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship.[8]

Psychologist Frank D. Cox said that infatuation could be distinguished from romantic love only when looking back on a particular case of being attracted to a person but which may also evolve into a mature love.[9] Goldstein and Brandon describe infatuation as the first stage of a relationship before developing into a mature intimacy.[10] Ian Kerner, a sex therapist, stated that infatuation usually occurred at the beginning of relationships, which is "marked by a sense of excitement and euphoria, and it's often accompanied by lust and a feeling of newness and rapid expansion with a person".[8]

The psychoanalyst Adam Phillips has described how illusions that occurred during infatuation resulted in disappointment when learning the truth about a lover.[11][unbalanced opinion?] Adolescents often make people an object of extravagant, short-lived passion or temporary love.

Youth

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"It is customary to view young people's dating relationships and first relationships as puppy love or infatuation";[12] and if infatuation is both an early stage in a deepening sequence of love/attachment, and at the same time a potential stopping point, it is perhaps no surprise that it is a condition especially prevalent in the first, youthful explorations of the world of relationships. Thus "the first passionate adoration of a youth for a celebrated actress whom he regards as far above him, to whom he scarcely dares lift his bashful eyes"[13][non-primary source needed] may be seen[original research] as part of an "infatuation with celebrity especially perilous with the young."[14]

The possible effects of infatuation and love relationships on the academic behaviour of adolescent students were examined in research. The outcome shows that most of the participants had distraction, stress, and poor academic performance as a result of love relationships and infatuation. Furthermore, the findings highlighted that this has a detrimental effect on learning behaviour among teenagers who are in romantic or infatuated relationships.[15]

Types

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Three types of infatuation have been identified by Brown: the first type is characterized by being "carried away, without insight or proper evaluative judgement, by blind desire"; the second, closely related, by being "compelled by a desire or craving over which the agent has no control" while "the agent's evaluation ... may well be sound although the craving or love remains unaffected by it"; and the third is that of "the agent who exhibits bad judgement and misvaluation for reasons such as ignorance or recklessness".[16]

According to the spiritual teacher Meher Baba: "In infatuation, the person is a passive victim of the spell of conceived attraction for the object. In love there is an active appreciation of the intrinsic worth of the object of love."[17]

In transference

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In psychoanalysis, a sign that the method is taking hold is "the initial infatuation to be observed at the beginning of treatment",[18] the beginning of transference. The patient, in Freud's words, "develops a special interest in the person of the doctor ... never tires in his home of praising the doctor and of extolling ever new qualities in him".[19] What occurs, "it is usually maintained ... is a sort of false love, a shadow of love", replicating in its course the infatuations of "what is called true love".[20]

However, psychoanalyst Janet Malcolm claims that it is wrong to convince the patient "that their love is an illusion ... that it's not you she loves. Freud was off base when he wrote that. It is you. Who else could it be?"[21]—thereby taking "the question of what is called true love ... further than it had ever been taken".[22][original research?]

Conversely, in countertransference, the therapist may become infatuated with his/her client: "very good-looking ... she was the most gratifying of patients. She made literary allusions and understood the ones he made ... He was dazzled by her, a little in love with her. After two years, the analysis ground down to a horrible halt".[23]

Intellectual infatuations

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Infatuations need not only involve people, but can extend to objects, activities, and ideas. Thus for example Jung's initial "'unconditional devotion' to Freud's theories and his 'no less unconditional veneration' of Freud's person' was seen at the time by both men as a 'quasi-religious infatuation' to ... a cult object";[24] while Freud in turn was "very attracted by Jung's personality",[25] perhaps "saw in Jung an idealized version of himself":[26] a mutual admiration society—"intellectually infatuated with one another".[27]

But there are also collective infatuations. Thus, for instance, "the recent intellectual infatuation with structuralism and post-structuralism"[28] arguably lasted at least until "September 11 ended intellectual infatuation with postmodernism"[29] as a whole.

Economic bubbles thrive on collective infatuations of a different kind: "all boom-bust processes contain an element of misunderstanding or misconception",[30] whether it is the "infatuation with ... becoming the latest dot.com billionaire",[31] or the one that followed with subprime mortgages, once "Greenspan had replaced the tech bubble with a housing bubble".[32] As markets "swung virtually overnight from euphoria to fear" during the 2008 financial crisis, even the most hardened market fundamentalist had to concede that such "periodic surges of euphoria and fear are manifestations of deep-seated aspects of human nature"[33]—whether these are enacted in home-room infatuations or upon the global stage.

Literary depictions

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Shakespeare's sonnets have been described by R. P. Blackmur as "a poetics for infatuation", dominated by infatuation as a theme: "its initiation, cultivation, and history, together with its peaks of triumph and devastation".[34]

In Ivan Turgenev's First Love, a novella from 1860, 16-year-old Woldemar becomes rapturously infatuated with Zinaida, the beautiful daughter of a princess who lives next to his house. Even though she does spend time with him, his intense infatuation is unrequited and he sinks into depression.

See also

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References

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  1. 1 2 Eastwick, Paul; Finkel, Eli (2009). "Infatuation". In Reis, Harry; Sprecher, Susan (eds.). Encyclopedia of Human Relationships. Sage Publishing. pp. 843–846. ISBN 9781506320403. The term infatuation typically refers to the early stages of romantic love, before the infatuated individual has had a chance to get to know or develop an intimate relationship with the love object. Colloquially, infatuation is frequently associated with youth and suggests an irrational, capricious approach to love. Although some consider infatuation to be a special, perhaps early or intense form of passionate love, researchers often use the term infatuation interchangeably with passion, passionate love, limerence, or being in love.
  2. 1 2 Money 1997, p. 308: "infatuation: a state of being intensely love smitten at an age or with a partner which others in authority deem unsuitable."
  3. 1 2 Branden & Branden 1982, pp. 23–24: "The literal meaning of infatuation is 'to be made foolish or fatuous, to be deprived of sound judgment.' In the context of relationships, infatuation means an intense attraction to another arising from our focusing on one or two aspects of the other as if those aspects represented the whole. [...] If we are confused about whether our feelings are infatuation or love, it is useful to ask some questions. How much do I really know about this person? How full a list of this person's assets and shortcomings am I able, and willing, to make? Do I admire this individual, or am I just sexually excited by him or her? What do we have in common—and what makes me think so? An impulse to rush past these questions is reason enough to suspect infatuation."
  4. ↑ "infatuation". Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary. Merriam-Webster. OCLC 1032680871.
  5. ↑ Hatfield & Walster 1985, pp. 51–53
  6. ↑ Sternberg, Robert (1986). "A triangular theory of love". Psychological Review. 93 (2): 119–135. doi:10.1037/0033-295X.93.2.119.
  7. ↑ Sternberg, Robert (1987). "Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories". Psychological Bulletin. 102 (3): 331–345. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.102.3.331.
  8. 1 2 Adebowale, Temi (28 June 2019). "What's the Difference Between Love and Infatuation?". www.menshealth.com. Men's Health. Retrieved 27 October 2019.
  9. ↑ Frank D. Cox, Human Intimacy (2008) p. 72.
  10. ↑ A. Goldstein and M. Brandon, Reclaiming Desire (2009) p. 232.
  11. ↑ Adam Phillips, On Flirtation (London 1994) p. 40.
  12. ↑ Vappu Tyyska, Long and Winding Road (2001) p. 131.
  13. ↑ Sigmund Freud, Case Histories II (PFL 9) p. 387.
  14. ↑ Timothy W. Quinnan, Generation Lost (2002) p. 132.
  15. ↑ Gouda, Gururaj Ganapati; D’Mello, Laveena (2021-02-22). "Infatuation, Romantic Relationship and Learning Behaviour among School Going Adolescents". International Journal of Management, Technology, and Social Sciences. 6 (1): 71–82. doi:10.47992/ijmts.2581.6012.0130. ISSN 2581-6012.
  16. ↑ Robert Brown (1987), Analyzing Love. Cambridge University Press, p. 38. ISBN 0-521-34038-1.
  17. ↑ Baba, Meher (1967). Discourses. Volume I. San Francisco: Sufism Reoriented. p. 159. ISBN 978-1-880619-09-4.
  18. ↑ Jacques Lacan, Ecrits: A Selection (London 1997) p. 241.
  19. ↑ Sigmund Freud, Introductory Lectures in Psychoanalysis (PFL 1) p. 491.
  20. ↑ Jacques Lacan, The Four Fundamental Concepts of Psycho-Analysis (London 1993) p. 123.
  21. ↑ Janet Malcolm, Psychoanalysis: The Impossible Profession (London 1988) p. 149.
  22. ↑ Lacan, Fundamental p. 123.
  23. ↑ Malcolm, p. 79.
  24. ↑ Peter Gay, Freud: A Life for Our Time (London 1989) p. 204.
  25. ↑ Ernest Jones, The Life and Work of Sigmund Freud (Penguin 1964) p. 328.
  26. ↑ Frank McLynn, Carl Gustav Jung (London 1996) p. 157.
  27. ↑ Anthony Stevens, Jung (Oxford 1994) p. 12.
  28. ↑ Sally Banes, Terpsichore in Sneakers (1980) p. xxviii.
  29. ↑ David Stoesz, Quixote's Ghost (2005).
  30. ↑ George Soros, The New Paradigms for Financial Markets (London 2008) p. 64.
  31. ↑ Haynes Johnson, The Best of Times (2001) p. 25.
  32. ↑ Gregory Zuckerman, The Greatest Trade Ever (London 2010) p. 83.
  33. ↑ Alan Greenspan, The Age of Turbulence (Penguin 2008) p. 520–523.
  34. ↑ R. P. Blackmur, J. T Jones, Outsider at the Heart of Things (1989) p. 242.

Sources

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Further reading

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  • Harville, H. PhD. (1992). Keeping the Love You Find, New York: Pocket Books.
  • Glencoe/McGraw-Hill. (2000). Whitney, DeBruyne, Sizer-Webb, Health: Making Life Choices (pp. 494–496)
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