Talk:Moira Deeming/GA2

GA review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: TarnishedPath (talk · contribs) 12:43, 24 November 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: LastJabberwocky (talk · contribs) 11:34, 12 July 2025 (UTC)

Hi, you already did majority of the work; I will probably have a couple of soft suggestions on prose and check whether the subject had any news since your previous nominations. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:34, 12 July 2025 (UTC)

@LastJabberwocky, there has been a substantial amount of news since the last nomination. Mostly to do with Deeming winning her defamation action against John Pesutto. I believe I've kept the article up to date with all that. Please let me know if you think there has been anything that I missed. TarnishedPath^talk 12:23, 12 July 2025 (UTC)

The article is up to date; I found only coverage related to Jordan Peterson's conference, which she in the end didn't attend so it doesn't seem to be important. I performed the rest of the edits myself :), mostly simplification and flow tweaks. I will also remove citation from the lead per WP:CITELEAD to cover all the bases. Then promoting! —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 08:01, 13 July 2025 (UTC)

Copyright

All green Y

Prose

I notice the previous didn't particularly liked short sentences. I also prefer, but with a caveat that I think "short vs long sentence" is a stylistic difference; longer aren't necessary better. So I singled out some sentences for you to with my versions of these sentences, and chose which one is better for the article.

• Deeming identifies as Māori. She is a Presbyterian, although she attended the Catholic high school St. Francis Xavier College.Deeming has a Bachelor of International Relations from La Trobe University and a Post-Graduate Diploma of Education from the University of Melbourne --> Deeming identifies as Māori and a Presbyterian. She attended the Catholic high school St. Francis Xavier College, and received Bachelor of International Relations from La Trobe University and a Post-Graduate Diploma of Education from the University of Melbourne.
• Deeming stood as a candidate for the Liberal Party in the lower house for the seat of St Albans at the 2014 Victorian state election. She secured 26.9% of the vote, losing to the Labor Party's Natalie Suleyman. --> During the 2014 Victorian state election, Deeming stood as a candidate for the Liberal Party for the seat of St Albans in the lower house. She secured 26.9% of the vote, losing to the Labor Party's Natalie Suleyman.

@LastJabberwocky, your suggestions read better so I've made those changes. Thankyou for your time undertaking this review. I'll check in tomorrow to see what further guidance you give. TarnishedPath^talk 12:17, 12 July 2025 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.