Draft talk:Lydia Chituku
Add topicLatest comment: 1 month ago by Figureskatingfan in topic Review by Figureskatingfan
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Review by Figureskatingfan
[edit]Hello, as promised, I am reviewing this article. I'm focusing on the sources, since that seems to be its major weakness at this time. Make sure that the sources you use support your claims. Also notice that I've made a few corrections to the links.
- Make sure that you name this article to "Lydia Neshangwe" when you move it to article space.
- Ref1: Supports all claims in the first paragraph, except that the congregation was diverse. I suggest removing that phrase. Although the claim is in ref2, so please change it.
- Denver Seminary: I suggest that you state that it's located in Littleton, Colorado.
- Second paragraph in "Ministry and career" section: The reference formatting is incorrect. This information is in ref1, though, so you could easily use it here.
- The sentence that begins, "The AACC is..." is unnecessary and information the reader can find by going to the link, so I suggest that you remove it.
- Neshangwe's duties as AACC president you list here are not the same as in the source. Also, make sure that you always refer to your subject with her last name, which is encyclopedic and academic writing. This is my suggestion: "As AACC president, Neshangwe is the fellowship's official spokesperson. She also oversees planning during its general and executive committee meetings (in consultation with the General Secretary), promotes consensus building, and "maintains unity amongst members of the General and Executive Committee". Wording it this way removes the problem of close paraphrasing that appears through the draft.
Ecumenical and global engagment:
- I suggest removing the description of CWM, for the same reason as the removal above.
- Ref3: The source just states that Neshangwe was present for the signing of the MOU between the CWM and the AACC, but nothing about COP29 or her call. This is how I would use the information about her in this source: "Neshangwe attended the 2023 signing ceremony in Nairobi, Kenya, of the Memorandum of Understanding (MOI) between the CWM and the AACC, which facilitated "ecumenical partnership and engagement" amongst the organizations. She stated that the CWM would "offer accompaniment to discern God’s will and address the pressing challenges the contemporary society in Africa is facing".
- Ref1 says nothing about the themes in her speeches. It does, however, supports the rest of that paragraph; nice paraphrasing here.
- Ref4: I don't have access to the source, so I can't tell if it supports the final sentence. I don't know, though, what you mean by the phrase "as expressed in imago Dei". Are you referring to the Christian doctrine? If so, you should link it and explain it in a few words.
The other main issue with this article, other than the sources, is that you can do a better job at mining the sources, as I've emphasized before. That's something you can tackle after this is published. Thanks, this was fun and I hope helpful, too. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 23:54, 31 July 2026 (UTC)