Talk:UFC 244/GA1
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 15:12, 20 January 2020 (UTC)
I'll pick this up. Kosack (talk) 15:12, 20 January 2020 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- The lead is rather short, only a single paragraph. There is no mention of any of the actual fights that took place, it seems more concerned with Trump.
- Add (UFC) after the initial use of Ultimate Fighting Championship to explain further uses of the abbreviation.
- Refs are only necessary in the lead if the information is not sourced in the main text, per WP:LEADCITE.
Background
[edit]- "That led up to the booking of this fight", a bit overly wordy. Simply "led to the booking..." would be sufficient.
- Link Dana White.
- There's an odd mix of past and future tense in places. For example, "headlined the event" and "will be delivered to the winner of this bout".
President Trump's Attendance
[edit]- Attendance doesn't need capitalising in the heading.
- Link Donald Trump for the first mention after the lead.
- "Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC)", UFC is used several times in the main body before this. Move the abbreviation to the first usage after the lead.
- "On Saturday, November 2nd" > on November 2. Per MOS:DATEFORMAT.
- Link Zuffa, Frank Fertitta, Lorenzo Fertitta, Atlantic City, White House and 2016 Republican National Convention
- "public perception of MMA", the abbreviation has never been used before this. Include a usage in brackets, as in the use of UFC, at the first usage.
- The section is quite pro Trump. In the lead it mentions he had a mixed reception in the arena. I'd include that here for some balance.
References
[edit]- In ref 3, staff is not an author.
- Refs 13, 14, 15 and 16 are bare urls. These refs need to be filled out.
Unfortunately, I'm failing this one upfront as there are too many issues to be addressed in a GA review. The major problem is that there is no actual coverage of the fights. Other than a table listing the results, there is no information of the actual bouts. I would take a look at the other UFC events that have been promoted, UFC 94 and UFC 148, for an example of what I mean. In those, the fights are covered with significant prose describing the basic talking points of the event. The aftermath section also needs expanding in a similar fashion, right now we have a brief mention of two fines. While this is fine for inclusion, I think there is scope for expansion here as well. This page seems more focused on Trump attending rather than covering the actual event itself. With a prose section covering the events of the actual bouts and the issues above being addressed, this will be in much better shape for a renomination. Kosack (talk) 19:40, 20 January 2020 (UTC)