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Talk:Pessinus

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Latest comment: 19 years ago by 165.124.117.163 in topic Untitled

Untitled

[edit]

Overall, this article has good content. However, you have some stylistic issues, as detailed below:

"It was a major, hellenized" should not have a comma.

In the following paragraph, you use passive voice when active voice would be much more effective. This occurs sporadically throughout the paper but is prevalent here:

"Pessinus was reached by Christianity in the fifth century AD. After the Byzantines lost it to the Seljuk Turks, it became an inconspicuous mountain village at 900m height, gradually getting depopulated since it was fully protected. The temple was abandoned and abused by the Christians in 362 AD. In late 715 AD, the city of Pessinus was destroyed by the conquering Arabs along with the neighboring city Orkistos."

For example, the first sentence of this paragraph could be revised to "Christianity reached Pessinus by ..."

Also, clarify what the Cult of Magna Mater has to do with this area.. I couldn't figure it out on first read. You should concentrate all discussion of the temple into 1 paragraph, maybe sectioned off.

It seems like you've done your research and know all the information you need to; it can be organized better.

199.74.93.122 18:14, 15 May 2007 (UTC) Raehan DurlabhjiReply

Raehan is correct; your major problems here are with citations and writing style, but these seriously impede clarity. 165.124.117.163 19:38, 6 June 2007 (UTC)Anise K. StrongReply