Talk:My Trigger/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 04:55, 16 March 2018 (UTC)

• Grabbing for a review if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 04:55, 16 March 2018 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

• I am not a fan of references in the lead, unless you are citing controversial/disputed information. I would remove the single reference in the lead as this information should already be located and cited in the body of the article.
• Please add ALT text for the image.
• The infobox image appears to be the cover for the remixes. I would add a caption to clarify this?
• For this sentence (Written and produced by the band, the song contains elements from J Dilla's "The Diff'rence" (2006), which samples "Fruitman" (1974) by Kool & the Gang, thus the writers of both compositions obtained writing credit.). I would cut the (thus the writers of both compositions obtained writing credit.) part into its own sentence (i.e. The writers of both compositions obtained writing credit.).
• I would paraphrase the "deeper meaning” quote.

Background

• Everything looks good here.

Composition and lyrics

• musicOMH should be in italics.

Release and reception

• I am confused by the structure of the final two paragraphs (i.e. the critical reception parts). It seems like a rather random assortment of critics and quotes. I would try to give these paragraphs more of a shape. Please reference this resource (Wikipedia:Copyediting reception sections) to see what I mean about this.

Music video

• Do you think it would better to separate the critical reception portions in the second paragraph into its own paragraph?

Final comments

• I could not find much to improve here. I will pass this once my comments are addressed. Aoba47 (talk) 02:49, 17 March 2018 (UTC)
  • Done, let me know what you think. As for the cover caption. The only cover used for this single has the word Remixes on it, so I feel it would be redundant to include a caption saying that it is the cover for the Remixes when no other cover exists. Pancake (talk) 20:35, 18 March 2018 (UTC)
    • Btw, do you think I ought to clarify in the lead that the video has actors portraying Kennedy and Khrushchev, (i.e. "... where actors portraying John F. Kennedy and Nikita Khrushchev ...")? Pancake (talk) 20:46, 18 March 2018 (UTC)
      • You could add the actor's names in parenthesis after the people's name if you would like to emphasize that they were portrayed by actors.

Verdict

• Thank you for addressing everything. I will  Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 00:10, 19 March 2018 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.