Talk:Laser Beam

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Laser Beam/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 02:59, 19 May 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• The link to the album should be to "JPN (album)" instead of "JPN (Perfume album)"
• You can remove the caption that reads "Laser Beam" artwork

Lead

Paragraph 1

• Who described it as "an electronic song, influenced by 8-bit music"?

Paragraph 2

• Can you reword "shifting physical shipments" to "physical sales" or along that line?

Background and release

Paragraph 1

• Reword second sentence to "It was also recorded, mixed, and mastered by Nakata."
• "track list" --> "tracklist"

Paragraph 2

• Great work!

Composition

• Again, who described it as "an electronic song, influenced by 8-bit music"?
• No source for the lead sentence
• Capitalize the "b" in "Laser beam" please
• "groups" --> "group's"

Critical response

Paragraph 1

• Nothing! Nada! :)

Paragraph 2

• You seem to use "positive" quite a bit, you could also say that they favored the single, enjoyed it, applauded it, etc....
• You also use semi-colon marks a bit, you can cut it back a bit if possible please

Commercial performance

• "groups" --> "group's"
• Make sure plural matches nouns; "it" should be singular and "they" should be plural -- "in their second week of sales" for example.
• "groups" --> "group's"
• Again, could you reword "shifting physical shipments" to "physical sales" or along that line?

Music video

Paragraph 1

• "which appears on the making-up and clothes." --> "which is reflected in the makeup and clothing."

Synopsis

• You did a great job at the synopsis; and at them in general–I have nothing to add! :)

Promotion and live performances

• "Kasuka na Kaori" should be in quotation marks
• "3%" should be spelt out as "three percent" please

Track listing

• Change title to "Track listings and formats" please

External links

• You could add the template that would provide a link for MetroLyrics of the song; use "Edge of the Ocean" for an example, also at the bottom of the article :)

End of GA Review:

Very few comments, great work! On hold as usual, good luck! Carbrera (talk) 02:32, 26 May 2016 (UTC)

Hi @Carbrera: All done :) CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 02:29, 28 May 2016 (UTC)