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Talk:Florianus/GA1

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Latest comment: 8 years ago by Gog the Mild in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 13:00, 23 July 2018 (UTC)Reply


A couple of points:

  • I have copy edited. Could you check and flag up anything you are not happy with.
  • Probus appears rather suddenly, with no explanation as to who or what he was. Could you insert a sentence briefly giving his background to that point?
  •  Done
  • Tacticus. In the lead he is "allegedly assassinated", in the article he "died... allegedly as a consequence of a military plot". How about 'allegedly assassinated as a consequence of a military plot'?
  •  Done

Optional prose points for your consideration:

  • "allowing him to utilize guerrilla warfare to wage a war of attrition rather than a straightforward war." Consider 'a straightforward confrontation.' to avoid two "war"s in close proximity.
  •  Done
  • "Probus launched skirmishes around the city". I am not sure if, grammatically, one can launch a skirmish. Consider 'raids'.
  •  Done
  • "In total, Florianus' reign lasted only slightly more than 88 days." reads clumsily to me. Perhaps 'lasted less than three months'; or 'less than ninety days'?
  •  Done
  • "However, Florianus soon had to deal with the revolt of Probus, who rose up soon after Florianus ascended" Two "soon"s in close proximity.
  •  Done

Gog the Mild (talk) 16:29, 23 July 2018 (UTC)Reply

Fine work there. A good tight little article. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:58, 23 July 2018 (UTC)Reply