Talk:Cyclone Bonita

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Cyclone Bonita/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Cloudchased (talk · contribs) 03:26, 22 December 2013 (UTC)

• I'll be reviewing this. Cloudchased (talk) 03:26, 22 December 2013 (UTC)

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• This is a rather minor concern, but shouldn't the image in the infobox be captioned?

• I added one. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• Remove the "the" in the Toronto Star reference.

• K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "In the aftermath" → "In its aftermath"?

• K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• The "g" in "Government of Madagascar" should be lowercase.

• K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "In a meteorological rarity, Bonita continued inland for several days" just sounds slightly odd. Maybe write something along the lines of "a meteorological oddity..."?

• Removed "In". ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• This issue might not be able to be resolved immediately, but the track map does not depict Bonita's passage to the Atlantic – i.e., are any coordinates/wind speeds available?

• Sadly, the IBT doesn't track the circulation all the way across, so I don't think it's possible. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "Bonita was the first storm confirmed to have tracked across the African continent from the South-West Indian Ocean" – it might be advisable to suffix "to the southern Atlantic" for clarity, or it might as well have tracked north-northwest into the Mediterranean.

• Added. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "Cyclone Bonita originated in a weak area of disturbed weather" – did Bonita originate within it or from it? I'm slightly confused by this wording.

• Changed "in" to "from". ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• Please link "Joint Typhoon Warning Center (JTWC)" as a whole per the MoS.

• As with Podul, proof? :P ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• I don't think the italicization of "tropical disturbance" is necessitated.

• K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "first of seven" might imply both the highest and lowest classifications on the scale. Maybe it could be worded as the "lowest of seven"?

• Yea, changed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• The SWIO scale also has two "tropical storm" classifications, so you might want to note that "tropical storm equivalent" refers to the SSHWS?

• But TS isn't technically on the SSHWS, and the term "Tropical storm" as a whole is the same on the lower end between SWIO and SSHWS. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• s/1-minute winds/1-minute maximum sustained winds/?

• Huh? I think I got what you mean.... ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• What exactly does "poorly defined" mean? Was its eye obscured? Was its structure becoming misaligned?

• Clarified it's the eye. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• I can understand the meaning of "poleward progress," but you're saying it's stationary, right? "Poleward" sounds slightly weird.

• Clarified it means south. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• s/over the course/in the course/ – of course, I'm opinionated.

• I like it how it is :) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "Favorable conditions over water" – Maybe this could be written as "While situated over [body of water], favorable conditions..."

• Rejiggered wording. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "the system had succumbed to cold waters and days of land interaction" – the storm succumbed to days?

• No, days of land interaction, which makes sense in the context. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "were either killed, or left unaccounted for and presumed dead" – I don't think the "left" is necessary, and nor is the comma.

• Agreed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "contributed some of the funding" – weasels.

• Merged with previous sentence. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• In "mostly from within Europe," the "within" should probably be removed.

• K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "Post-storm assessments of disaster response" – were the assessments of disaster response in general, disaster response in 1996, or disaster response to Bonita?

• It's to Bonita, as I found that assessment mentioned in a subsequent cyclone article. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "notably the provinces of" – this needs a "in" or "within".

• K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "above-normal seasonal rainfall totals in many areas (rainfall remained average or even trended slightly below-average across northern and eastern sections of the nation)" – is it possible to take the information out of the parentheses?

• Turned into semicolon. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

• "At least two observing stations" – where?

• Changed to just indicate the peak. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 21 January 2014 (UTC)

Nice work, JC! I really enjoyed reading the article and look forward to hearing back from you on these issues, after which I'll promote this to GA. Cloudchased (talk) 03:55, 22 December 2013 (UTC)