Talk:Binti Jua
Add topicLatest comment: 13 years ago by Fcsuper in topic intro too long
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video
[edit]can anyone find the video? Spencerk 05:35, 6 November 2006 (UTC)
intro too long
[edit]Not appropriate to have so specific detail in intro. — fcsuper (How's That?, That's How!) (Exclusionistic Immediatist ) — 12:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
- OK, first pass at fixing. I'm not sure "Family" is the appropriate title for the new section (or if its appropriate for it to be first), but that part is detail and belongs in the body. I added a summary of "the incident in the first paragraph -- it's the "best known thing about her" and was not even mentioned in the lead. It might be appropriate to also put the second paragraph of the lead into the "Family" section, and then summarize that section in the leas instead -- for instance, "She is the niece of ... and has two sons by different sires" (or whatever). Just a thought. Don Lammers (talk) 12:37, 31 October 2012 (UTC)
- Looks good. — fcsuper (How's That?, That's How!) (Exclusionistic Immediatist ) — 14:22, 5 November 2012 (UTC)